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Thursday, August 25, 2016

The Son of a Preacher Man


As I think about my life, there is one providential event by God that has defined most of my life.  That one event was I was born into the home of a Baptist Pastor.  Any of you who happen to be a "PK" (Preacher's Kid) know exactly what I am talking about.  As I have really tried to brainstorm about my life, this fact as dominated my thoughts.

Being a PK is a lot like being born into a military or educators family.  The blessings and curses that come along are many and on some occasions difficult.  Let me preface this by saying I am grateful to God that I was born into a pastor's home.  It was so by the grace of God, however there were times in my life when I couldn't honestly say that.  What I want to highlight today are some of the characteristics involved in being a PK.  I hope this helps you understand what many kids are going through.

The first thing I would say is PKs tend to move a lot.  The life of a pastor can be a tough life.  The average length a pastor stays at a church is about 18 months.  It is actually sad to think about.  My father had pastored churches in Commerce, GA, Waynesville, NC, Icard, NC, Asheboro, NC, and Bluff City, TN by the time I turned 10.  Thankfully God allowed my dad to pastor Chinquapin Grove Baptist Church in Bluff City from my age 10 until I was in my 20's.  I can remember my father saying he prayed that God would plant him somewhere where he could raise his family in.  God did just that and TN still feels like and is home.

The next thing about a PK is they live in a fishbowl.  If you put fish in a fishbowl, you can watch their every move.  Such is the life of a PK.  You are being watched what seems like 24/7.  In Bluff City everyone knew who my dad was.  There was not a teacher or principal that didn't know him.  Whether people want to truly admit it or not, most people hold PKs to a higher standard that their peers.  That is truly both a blessing and a curse.  Here is the thing, PKs are normal kids.  Brittany and I really try to cultivate this in our lives.  We truly want our kids to be kids.  If you tend to talk about your Pastor's children in a way you don't talk about everyone's children, please stop because you're only hurting them.  Let them be kids.

Another aspect that is a theme in a PKs life is their parents are usually strict.  Because you live in a fishbowl, and because your actions reflect upon your parents, strictness usually follows.  I would say the pastor's home is as strict has military house would be.  There are not many PKs that get by with much.  This leads into most rebellion during their teenage years.

The last thing I will share about PKs is many of them despise the organized church and don't attend.  I can't tell you the number of conversations I have had where a PK has unloaded on the church because of how their father was treated.  It is true that some of the meanest, most power hungry, ruthless, and controlling people are church members.  How under heaven they believe they are Christians is beyond me.  All I can say is the devil has blinded them from the truth.  I think this is an alarming trend in churches.  Lay leaders in the church really need to think about this problem, and they need to try to find a solution quickly.

I could literally write a book on this subject.  You will be able to identify in my story many ways in which being a PK profoundly impacted me.  I think this background will help put into context my story.  Let me finish by encouraging you to pray for your pastor's children.  You have no idea the pressure many put on themselves.  

Until Next Time,
JCH

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